Lost and Found
by lovelikewoemusic
Summary: Amy used to have a great life, that is before her brother died five years ago. Her parents stopped caring the day they buried him. Amy has to take care of her baby siblings, work, and go to school. She's an independent woman who doesn't let weakness show.
1. Chapter 1

Paul Fanfic:

Amy POV

I was walking down the dark and deserted road. It was well past midnight but I didn't care, and I knew my parents wouldn't notice anyhow. I often walked along the streets of the village to give myself time to think and get away from the place I call home. If I could describe my house in one word it would be: unbearable. I felt like I was in a sinkhole; slowly losing my sanity and what made me, me. Most people describe their homes as being friendly and a place of haven. I wish I could talk about my home like normal teenagers do. There was only two people who knew about how suffocating my house was and they would be Charlotte and Joie. I've known them since I was nine and we shared everything with one another. We were like the three musketeers: inseparable.

I was an hour walk away from my house when a wolf howled. Unlike most girls, this doesn't bother me. I find comfort knowing that there are wolves out there. It reminds me of the tribal stories. It makes me feel like someone is watching over me, when in reality I know no one is. I'm the one that does the watching over. Nighttime walks are the time I get to myself in the day. I spend all my time at school, work, or watching over my baby siblings. It's not the best life in the world, but it's a fulfilling one.  
I work to save up for college cause God knows how else I'm supposed to pay for it with how expensive it is. I go to school and then hurry home to watch my baby siblings before work until they go to sleep at 7:30. Then I change into my work clothes and drive to work. I speed all the way there just so I can make it there on time. I work until 11:30 and drive home. Then I go on walks until well into the morning and then home to sleep. I have insomnia so I can't sleep much during the night, so I busy myself with life. Personally, I think it's pointless to lay in bed doing absolutely. Then I hit the repeat button and do it all over again.

I continued walking down the main street. There weren't many big roads seeing as I lived in La Push, Washington. Main Street was by far the longest road and it covered most of La Push. My thoughts turned to my future and school. School was where I truly pushed myself. I had to work hard to get good grades because school didn't come easy for me. Most kids used school as a social life, but I took it seriously. I wanted to get out of La Push and get away from the house I grew up in and never look back. I plan on taking my baby siblings with me, if I can get custody that is. I don't want to leave them here with our parents. I know it's not going to be the easiest road to take, going to college with two little kids. I could leave the babies here, but what kind of person would I be if I left them? I'm saving all my money so that I can get an apartment and go to school. I don't plan on seeing my parents after I move out. That sounds heartless, but they don't care about me and to be perfectly honest, I think they'd like it better that way.

I was just a few blocks away from my house when a rustle of leaves in my peripheral vision caused me to stop. I'm not suicidal or stupid, I've seen those horror movies where the girl goes into the forest looking for whatever was there enough to know you don't do that. I just stood there for a few moments to make sure that nothing was going to jump out at me before continuing on my way home. I only got a few paces farther down the road when I heard someone call out to me.

"You shouldn't be out here at this time of night, Amy." Sam. When I was younger I saw Sam almost every day. He came by my house to hang out with my brother, back when days were easier. Seeing him brought pain to my heart. He reminded me of a time where my parents cared about their children and my home was enjoyable.

"You're one to talk Samuel. You know I can't sleep anyways, what does it matter if I'm outside." Whenever I was annoyed with him as a child I called him Samuel. It was just a habit I picked up from my parents when they were annoyed or angry with Tyler.

"It's not safe at night, Amelia. You should know that. I know you can't sleep but it would be best if you stayed within the confinements of your home when it gets to be too late."

Pictures started to come in my mind but I pushed them down. There were things that I didn't want to relive or see if a flashback came from seeing the images. Tears prickled in my eyes, but like all my other emotions, I bottled them up. I hated to show weakness in front of another being and crying was weakness.

"Thank you for your concern Samuel, but I think I can decide what to do with my life." I wasn't trying to be disrespectful, but I'm almost a legal adult. I can make my own decisions.

"I'm just looking out for you Amy. I don't want anything to happen to you." Sam was like another brother to me when Tyler was here. He fit the role so well that it didn't surprise me when he was at my house back then. He teased me just like Tyler did. After what happened to Tyler, I shut Sam out. It was too painful to see him. He reminded me so much of Tyler and to see him brought tears to my eyes. I avoided Sam at all costs after that. I know he still cared about me, but it's difficult to be around him for too long. It's painful.

"Thank you Sam, for your concern. But I've been watching out for myself for five years. I don't think I need help from you or anyone else for the matter. If you'll excuse me, I need to be heading home."

I am independent, living my life has made me that way. I stand up for myself and rely only upon myself. I turned away from him and started to head back to my house. I reached home without another disturbance from Sam or any other person that might be prowling the streets. I grabbed the key from under the pot on the porch and unlocked the door. I placed the key back where it belongs and walked into the house. I closed and locked the door behind me before walking down the hall to nursery. I checked on the twins. Sure enough they were sound asleep in their own cribs. I walked across the room to my dark room and left the door cracked. I changed into my pajamas which consisted of an overlarge t-shirt and a pair of shorts. I laid down under the covers and stared at the ceiling. The tears I had been holding in since my run-in with Sam leaked out. I softly sobbed to myself. I cried for my loss and my rough life. I cried for the twins and how hard their childhood would be growing up in our dysfunctional family. I would save them from living like I had for the past five years. I would show them that they were loved and cared for. But mostly I cried for Tyler, the brother I missed dearly. The brother that would never live or breathe again. The one who had been my hero. I fell asleep to the pounding of my heart, with the tears still streaming down my face.

Let me know what you think about this chapter! Any reviews or messages would be greatly appreciated. I don't own Twilight.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Amy POV

I woke up the next morning to a damp pillow and the obvious fussing of the twins. I rolled out of bed before quickly turning around and making it. It was a habit of mine, I always had to make my bed right after I got out of it. I padded across the hall and saw that both Chris and Angie looking up at the ceiling while making noises. They were the light of my life. I went to Chris's crib and then Angie's and got them both out. I had one in each hand as I walked them out of the nursery, down the hall, and to the right into the kitchen. I set them down in their sepereate highchairs and walked to the fridge to get their breakfast out; cheerios and milk. I poured the cereal into three seperate bowls and poured just enough milk in. I swiftly put the babies food on the table of their seats and handed them spoons. I prayed that they wouldn't make too much of a mess this morning. I relaxed and ate my own breakfast while the twins artfully, or not so artfully, attempted to eat their food. Twenty minutes later I decided they had enough as they were now just playing in their food. Grabbing a wet washcloth, I wiped their hands and faces off and took away the food.

After getting them both dressed: Angie in a purple dress with a white tights and an undershirt and Chris in blue jeans and a green long sleeve shirt. I put their jackets on and put them into the carseats. I quickly ran to my room, discarded my pajamas for clean clothes, threw on some light make-up, and put on my shoes. I grabbed my keys and backpack and slung it on, and then grabbed the twins carseats and walked out to my Honda Accord. Buckling them in and then driving to the babysitters was an easy and fast task. It took all of five minutes, maybe. I walked up to Leah's door and knocked on the door. Within seconds she swiftly grabbed the car seats, gave me a hug, and pushed me towards my car.

"You need to get to school Amy, hurry hurry." Leah was always pushing me to get to school to socialize. She didn't think I had enough friends.

I laughed gently, "Okay, okay. I'm going!" I gave the babies a kiss on the forehead told them I loved them and would be back after school.

The drive to school was a quick one, another five minutes in the car from Leah's and I was there. Charlotte and Joie were waiting at Joie's car for me. I pulled in next to them and honked my horn. Charlotte, expectantly jumped, while Joie just stood there like normal. "Hey girlies!" I shouted the moment I got out of my car. For some reason I was hyper after my exciting morning. We walked into the school together laughing and talking about our weekends. I didn't notice anyone to be perfectly honest. The only people I truly cared about were the twins, Charlotte, and Joie; so everyone else just kind of blended into one big blob for me. I knew a few names here and there but they were just the people I am friendly to. My social life was pathetic but I didn't care because once I graduate I am out of here and I don't need to know these teenagers names.

Seeing as how our school was in the end of the third quarter, almost everyone was in halls studying for some test. Everyone's' brows were crinkled as they tried to study. Everyone, absolutely everyone, was stressed. We had one week left before the final quarter of some of ours high school careers. How strange it is to be saying that! I've been waiting for this time for five years and it just seems so surreal that it is finally here.

The three of us split for classes when the bell rang. Charlotte to Drama, Joie to Art, and me to English. I sat down in the back of the classroom like I always do. I feel more at peace and like people aren't staring at me.I grabbed out my purple binder that had English scribbled at the top, put a pen on top of it and relaxed in my chair. I glanced around the room, about half the class was here. I rested my head on the desk and sat there until the bell rang. Mrs. LaRay started talking about finishing our Shakespeare unit and how we were going to start into the next unit. Shakespeare was one of my favorite subjects. Although I didn't really understand what he was saying most of the time, I understood the plot. I though Romeo and Juliet was stupid though. Why would you kill yourself when you find out your significant other is dead because they killed themselves since they thought you were dead. It's completely and utterly ridiculous.

Our next unit was to be on creative writing. The big project was going to be a personal one that would count for a large portion of our final grade. It had to be something unique and about something in your life that has or had great meaning. She said to make it personal and let our feelings and emotions flow onto the paper. This was going to be hard for me and I knew it.  
She said we had the entire quarter to complete it.

I heard whisperings and mutterings around me. Supposedly some jock had been gone from school for a couple weeks and he came back today and he looks completely different. Now he is ripped, much taller, has a tattoo, and a cropped haircut. I sighed, did they really need to dig into each others personal life. Who cares if he looks different, it's really none of their business. High school gossip was not a high priority on my list. It was interesting, I'll give you that, but at times demeaning and hurtful. Although it was very informative. I think I heard his name was Jared or Paul. I can't remember which, and to be honest, they were basically the same person. They were always with one another, which is probably what set these giggling girls off on their talk. They weren't hanging out together anymore. It appeared that they had some kind of a fight or other. The girls were talking about making moves on the guys now that they had no one to talk to. They were sure to want attention from somebody and who better than the sluts sitting near me? I tuned them out, I didn't want to hear about their strategy plans to get the guys attention.

My next few classes were beyond boring, but I forced myself to stay awake and take notes. I was determined to continue to get good grades. At lunch I met up with Charlotte and Joie. I pulled my sack lunch from my backpack and waited at a table for them to get their disgusting cafeteria food. I mean honestly, have you seen that stuff? It looks absolutely revolting. I looked around the cafeteria, not for anything in particular, but just to busy myself until my friends arrived. I saw the sluts trying to come onto Jared, I think it was. Then I saw Paul sitting by himself several tables off glaring at the back of Jared's head. Whatever happened must have been something big.

I noticed Sam walking into the school and over to where Jared was. The sluts immediately left once Sam arrived. They seemed to be having a quiet conversation. Kim, a shy and quiet girl who was the sweetest girl, walked by them. I saw Jared's eyes flick to her as she brushed past them and they never left. His head obviously turned towards her, he could at least try and be discreet about staring at her. Sam, noticing he wasn't listening anymore, looked to where he was looking. A look of recognition took hold of his face and he grabbed Jared's arm. He started pulling him out the door. It was only when Jared start realizing what Sam was doing that he started to struggle. He looked upset about something and was looking between Sam and Kim repeatedly. It seemed like he was in physical pain, not from Sam dragging him, but from leaving in general. Sam, being the strongest of the two, pulled him out the door. He glanced back once at Kim and then his eyes flashed to mine with a gentle smile. Then they left.

I looked back to Paul. He was shaking pretty badly. He looked livid, as he was staring at the spot where Jared and Sam had left just moments before. He stood up and stalked out of the cafeteria. I shook my head, high school drama, I thought.

This all happened before Charlotte and Joie came back with their alien food and lunch trays. I couldn't help but think that I was so glad I wasn't apart of their friend group with all the drama going on, before emerging myself into conversation with my friends. 

Let me know what you think! I appreciated the one review I got, thanks so much! (: I don't own twilight.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Amy POV

The rest of the day went by smoothly after lunch, or as smoothly as life goes for me. I promised Charlotte and Joie that we would hang sometime throughout the week before getting in my car and driving off to retrieve the twins. This was one of the highlights of my day. I loved seeing their faces when they saw me after eight hours with Leah. I parked the car in the driveway and walked up the stairs. I knocked on the door and waited patiently for Leah to answer it.

"Hey Ames, how are you doing?" Leah asked as she opened the door and led me to where the babies were.

"It was great." I almost told her about what happened with Sam, Jared, and Paul but thought better of it. Sam broke up with Leah a month and a half ago for her cousin Emily. She has never been the same since. I think watching Angie and Chris helped her fill her time. She was very sensitive and it was a hard break-up for her. Her and Sam were talking about marriage when Emily came down. Emily was coming down to help her with the wedding, upon seeing her Sam called it quits with Leah. I feel sorry for her. I know what heartbreak feels like, though probably not the same kind she is going through.

"How was your day?" I asked her while rounding up the twins toys and putting them in the diaper bag. The twins were playing with blocks in the playpen.

"It was okay. The twins were a handful, I can't believe they're almost a year." She said with a gentle smile upon her face. Her eyes didn't sparkle anymore like they used to when she was still with Sam. Small smiles were the most she gave out to anyone anymore.

"Thanks again Leah, I'll see you tomorrow." I said with the twins in their carseats and the diaper bag slung over my arm. "Alright." Was her reply. "Oh and I'll bring your money by soon. I'm sorry I haven't gotten paid yet, I feel terrible I haven't paid you this month." I said from the car.

"It's fine Amy. I told you, you and the twins and your bills come first. Then pay me." She said this everytime that I mention money. I think it's sweet, but no matter what she says the first thing I do after receiving my paycheck is pay her. Otherwise I don't know if there will be money for her. She doesn't know this though. I got in the car and drove to the house. Once home, I put the twins down for their afternoon nap and then busied myself with my homework.

"Aggh!" I screamed a little. This damn Calculus was killing me. I couldn't understand why the heck x=17. I threw my pencil at the wall and it broke. I can't do this, I thought. I can't raise two kids on my own, go to school, and work. It's just not possible. Just this damn homework is too much for me. I'm trying I really am, but it's not working out for me. I'm stressed all the time and I can't do it. I rest my head on my hands and breathe deeply. Knock that off I thought. Those kind of thoughts aren't going to get you anywhere and they only make you depressed. You have to be able to do this, for the twins. Chris and Angie are what keeps me going, honestly if I didn't have them I wouldn't be going anywhere.

My life is too depressing. I feel like nothing good has happened since the birth of my new family members, and nothing before that since Tyler died. It's hard to go on without anything positive and uplifting. I feel like God has cursed me, for what, I don't know. I was a good kid, I got decent grades and was an ordinary daughter and sister. Then the crash happened and my lift went from colorful to black and white. The first few years after Tyler died were the worst. I was always depressed and it showed. I didn't talk to anyone; I barely talked to Charlotte and Joie. I was jealous of them for the longest time, I still am in fact. Their lives, while not a hundred percent perfect, are better than mine by tenfold. Then the twins were born and there was a new light in my life. They brought a little color into the dullness. They are the lights of my life.

I stood up and picked up the pieces of wood from my broken pencil. I threw them in the trashcan by the fridge, and grabbed a new one out of the drawer. I returned to my Calculus homework and concentrated. I looked at the problem for at least an hour before finally understanding it. It was hard, but rewarding in a sense. I got through half of the assignment before I looked at the clock hanging on the wall. Shit, I have to go to work. I switched into my uniform and pulled on my shoes. I grabbed my wallet with my license and ran into the nursery. I kissed the twins on the head and ran to my car. I sped to work, locked the car, and ran inside the building. I signed in and started waiting tables.

About halfway through my shift I remembered I hadn't fed the twins. Dammit, what kind of care taker am I? I thought. Hopefully my mom would feed them. Even though she didn't really careanymore about her children, she couldn't stand when the babies screamed. Which they likely were doing right now. I felt terrible. For the rest of the night they were on my mind. Not that they normally aren't, but I just neglected them. The guilt was residing in my gut. I couldn't stand it. The second work ended, I was busting my butt home. When I went in the house my mother was sitting there with Angie in her arms.  
For a second, I saw her like she was years ago. At a time where she cared about us. When times were easier. Secretly I hoped that this was a sign that things were going to change.  
Of course, that was until I saw her face. When she heard me walk in the room she twisted her head in my direction. She didn't look particularly happy to be holding her baby daughter like most mothers would be. She looked like it was a chore, and not a very pleasant one at that.

"Come take the baby." She told me. I obligued, quickly I might add. Angie didn't want to be in her arms as much as she didn't want to hold her. I took Angie from her arms and my mother stalked off in the direction of her room. I rocked Angie back and forth as I walked to her room. She was fast asleep, thankfully. A weight was lifted off of my shoulders when I realized my mother fed her. I laid her down gently in her crib and ran my thumb down the side of her face. I loved her so much. I walked the few steps to Chris's crib and checked to see if he was sleeping. He was sound asleep which meant he had been fed. He doesn't sleep at night unless he has been. I ran my fingers down the side of his face like I had to Angie and tiptoed out of the room, slowly closing the door behind me.

Like every other night, I left the house to go on a walk around the village. I thought back to my breakdown this afternoon. I can't believe I let that happen. Usually, I am well kept. I hardly let any emotion show unless it's towards Chris and Angie. I'm not heartless, I just keep it bottled up. Why give it out if no one cares? I was so emersed in my thoughts that I didn't hear the arguing until I was fairly close. Jared and Paul were yelling and screaming at eachother by the edge of the woods. I stopped in my tracks.  
They looked furious with eachother, if they saw me walking past they might turn on me. I don't know why they would, but I stayed still regardless.  
"

Why the hell would you go with him?" Paul yelled. Both boys were shaking roughly.

"He needed my help Paul, why can't you accept that he's not a bad guy?" Jared screamed back.

"He walks around like he's topshit and owns the village. Not to mention he dumped his fiance for her best friend and cousin. What kind of respectable man does that?" Paul had a valid comeback, I thought.

"It's not like that, he didn't have a choice!" Jared's frame shook even more, if that's possible.

"He didn't have a choice? He didn't have a choice? That's bull shit and you know it!" "You'll understand someday." Jared yelled back, but with a glimmer in his eye as if he were thinking about someone and knew why Sam had dumped Leah.

"As if I haven't heard that one before!" Paul was literally vibrating he was so mad. His eyes were mad with rage. I gasped. Jared's head spun in my direction and quickly pushed Paul into the woods. I heard a ripping sound a few minutes later after the yelling had died down. I'm not sure if it died down, or was just muffled and quieted by the woods. Either way I didn't care. I turned around and headed home. That was definitely abnormal.

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This is Chapter Three. I hope you all enjoy it! Please Review and let me know what you think. I don't own twilight. (:


	4. Chapter 4

Amy POV

When I dropped the twins off at Leah's the next morning I didn't mention anything about what Jared said about Sam dumping her. I just pretended like nothing was different and as if there wasn't some hidden force that took Sam away from this magnificent person. It was things like this that made me keep to myself, to never show my emotions. Why give your heart to someone only to have it broken into a million pieces. All your left with is misery and a broken heart wondering if things had turned out differenly. Wondering if you were good enough or if your a defect. I don't want that in life. I saw my parents fall out of love not only with each other but with their children. I couldn't do that, and I wouldn't.

As I arrived at school and parked my car I realized that my friends weren't waiting outside for me like usual. I climbed out of the car and wondered what was going on. There had only been a few times that they didn't wait for me. I walked into the school and found them by our lockers. They were talking quietly to eachother. I was curious as to what was going on.

"What's up guys?" I asked curiously.

"Jared and Paul are back together!" They told me at the same time.

"They're dating? As in they're gay?" I asked. I hadn't pictured that coming from those two. Especially with how Jared looked at Kim yesterday.

"No, you idiot! They're best friends again. Whatever fight they had, they got over it and made up." They laughed at me. That made a lot more sense than the two of them being gay.

"That makes sense." I said laughing with them. We talked and laughed until the bell rang a few minutes later. We packed up and went to our seperate classes and like always I sat in the back of the classroom.

We were watching Romeo and Juliet to finish up our Shakespeare unit so I had a lot of time to think. My thoughts went back to Paul and Jared. How were they friends again? Especially after what I heard last night. They were screaming and yelling at each other, how the hell did they make up? They had been on ends with each other for weeks and then all of a sudden after a brutal yelling they are over it. It didn't add up to me at all. My thoughts continued to go over their situation again and again trying to figure out what was going on. I usually didn't get into gossiping or high school drama, but I knew that if I didn't concentrate on them my thoughts would go back to my breakdown yesterday. That was something I definitely didn't want to happen.

My next class was Calculus. I ended up finishing the assignment yesterday and I did surprisingly well on it. I was very proud of myself. I was able to push through my struggles and do my homework and focus. It made me feel as if I was doing something right in life. I could get through a hard time.

The next few classes were boring until lunch. I had been secretly waiting for lunch since I heard about Paul and Jared. I wondered what would happen, and I wanted to see it for myself.  
They say that seeing is believing and for me that was definitely true. I wanted to see if they really had made up and if Paul would look like Jared had. When Jared skipped school for a couple weeks he had come back looking like he used steroids. He had all sorts of muscles and a tattoo. Rumor has it he has a tattoo on his shoulder also, but I hadn't seen it so I wasn't sure if that was just rumor or truth. It had me curious if Paul came back the same way Jared had.

I sat down at the usual table and waited for Charlotte and Joie to get their lunches. My eyes scanned the cafeteria looking for the two best friends. After a few minutes I spotted them eating a mountain load of food and laughing and joking. Paul looked very similar to Jared with short hair and lots of muscles. He also looked like he had grown quite a bit. It had me curious though; when Jared changed, for lack of a better term, he had taken a couple weeks off of school. Why hadn't Paul taken as long? Maybe he wasn't going to skip school. I watched their eating habits and was disgusted. They shoveled their food into their mouths as quickly as they could as if they couldn't get enough of it. It vaguely reminded me of how Chris and Angie ate. I saw Jared's eyes flash over to Kim quite a bit. It was as if he was keeping tabs on her. Any time she moved his eyes flashed over to his. He had a look of longing in his eyes. Paul also seemed to notice this and rolled his eyes. The two, who were a lot like brothers, continued to laugh and joke.

I tore my gaze away from them for the time being to find out where my friends were. To my surprise, they were already sitting at the table staring at me. I didn't know that I had been that zoned out. They look from me to Paul and Jared one last time before beginning to talk.

"Ames, why were you staring at Paul and Jared?" Charlotte asked with a twinkle in her eye.

"No reason, I was just curious if your rumors were true." I played it cool. If they thought that something was up or that I knew something it would not be good. I would get teased immensely for keeping tabs on them. Charlotte gave Joie a look. Joie nodded in response.

"I think you like one of them." Charlotte accused me. How could they think that? They know where I stand about romance and all of that crap.

"No." I simply stated hoping that that would end this conversation. I hadn't ever had a boyfriend and I didn't plan on it.

"It's okay to like someone Amy." Joie said.

"No it is not okay. Love doesn't get you anywhere. I've seen what happened to my parents, Sam and Leah, you guys and your ex-boyfriends. That kind of thing just doesn't last. All you end up with is a broken heart. It's not worth it when I have so many other things to focus on." Everything I had just said was true. I thought love was a waste of time. You only felt good for so long until something ended the relationship and you are in a hole of despair. What better way to avoid the misery and pain then to never get into a relationship or love. They had both heard this from me before. Although they both disagreed with me on it.

"I honestly don't know how you believe that Amy. I get where you're coming from, I do, but even with all the heartache and pain it's worth it. I wouldn't give love up just so I didn't have the pain. All those wonderful times I had with my ex-boyfriend helped make me who I am today. I grew from that experience." Joie said.

"I've had enough terrible experiences in my life to last a life-time. I don't need to have anymore, especially if I bring them upon myself. It's one thing if the heartache is involuntarily, but it's a whole other ordeal if I bring it upon myself." I said looking out the window of the cafeteria.

"I'm so sorry honey, I really am, but do you think that he would want you to give up on love? On something that every human needs to survive?" Charlotte whispered. This was a touchy subject.

"I love people still. I love you two and the twins." I said softly. My eyes were starting to well up on tears and I tried to push them down. I would not cry in front of the whole school. They came over to my side of the table and hugged me.

"We love you too, but we don't think you should give up on the opposite gender." Charlotte whispered in my ear. "It's not giving up on them if I never had hope in them in the first place." Our hug ended and I suppressed my tears. They returned to the other side of the table. We looked at each other and burst out in laughter.

"How did we get into such a serious topic?" Joie asked between giggles. This was a common occurrence for us; we have serious discussion out of nowhere and then laugh about how they came up.

"I don't know. Something about Paul and Jared." Charlotte chuckled out.

"Speaking of which, look who is walking over here." Joie said. I looked over to see Paul walking towards our table, his eyes focused on Charlotte. I wondered why he was coming over here.

"Charlotte, when would you like to get together to work on that Drama scene?" He asked. That made sense, I vaguely remembered Charlotte mentioning that Paul was in her class. She just hadn't told us that she had to do a scene with him.

"How about this weekend?" She responded to the dark haired, brown eyed, tall teenager before us.

"That would be okay. Could we meet at your house?" Paul looked bored with this conversation. He obviously was only over here for school reasons, not to socialize with us. That was fine with me though. We talked to Paul, but it wasn't like we were great friends. We only really talked when the situation called for it.

"I think that would be fine. I'll write down my address for you, hold on." She went down to reach for her backpack before she realized that she had put it in her locker. I quietly chuckled to myself.

She turned to me, "Ames, do you have a pen and paper I could use?"

"Yea, one second." I responded, digging in my backpack for the utensils she asked for. I wrote down her address to save time and turned up to hand it to Paul. The second our eyes met he froze. It was as if his body couldn't move. He just stood there and stared at me openly. Quickly, Jared walked over and put his hand on Paul's shoulder.

"We should probably get going Paul, Sam needed our help." Jared took the paper with Charlotte's address out of my hand for Paul. He started to push Paul out of the lunch much similar to how Sam had dragged out Jared yesterday. The only difference was that Paul was emotionless. He just walked out the door as Jared lead him. He didn't put up a fight, but he stared at me until he was out of eyesight. I heard his loud voice from the hallway arguing with Jared about leaving but I tuned him out. Joie's words pretty much summed up how I felt, "That was weird."

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**Thanks to all those that reviewed and added my story to their favorites, I really appreciate it. Thanks to those who just read my story too, it's great to know people read it. I hope you liked this chapter. I don't own twilight. Please review! Thanks. (:**


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated in a long long time. Life's just been really busy. I really appreciate all of the alerts and reviews and everyone reading my story! It really means a lot, it keeps me going. (even if it's kind of slow) I'll try to update more regularly. Let me know your thoughts on this chapter! (: I don't own twilight. Thanks to everyone! Enjoy..

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Chapter 5

Amy's POV

I hadn't seen Paul since Jared dragged him out of the cafeteria a couple of weeks ago. Life went on for me though, it wasn't like he was the center of my universe or anything. Life went on as usual, not smooth and blissful, but it continued. Chris and Angie were growing more and more every day. Work was work, I only go there to pay the bills. School was closely approaching the end of the year and then I would be done with my high school career. I couldn't wait to move out of my wretchted house and move on with my life; make something of myself. However, with all of this going on I still couldn't get Paul out of my head. Which is strange because I've never really talked to him. I've said hi to him as we've passed in the hall and if we had to do an assignment or project together, but that's about as far as our relationship went. Not that I wanted it to get much farther. I wasn't looking for a relationship and I don't think I would ever truly want one. That boat sailed for me the second my parents turned into assholes after Tyler's death.

It was Monday morning and I had just dropped off the twins at Leah's before rushing to school late. I just knew that because I was running late it would throw my whole day off, and I wasn't looking forward to it. When I walked into the building I rushed to class, not wanting to be later than I already was. I opened the door and sat in the back of the class as not draw more attention to myself. The teacher gave me a pointed look but said nothing as she continued on with her lesson. I got out my notebook and started taking notes.

The day went by slowly for me. I would look at the clock, sigh, and continue with my work. This continued in every class until lunch, which I was anxiously awaiting. I was secretly hoping that Paul would be there, not because I liked him, but because I was concerned. The last time I saw him he was being pulled out of the lunchroom after a very awkward staring at myself. Paul had been plauging my thoughts since that day. Whether I wanted him to or not, and it was definitely the latter. I'm not going to deny he wasn't very attractive, but I just didn't like guys. I didn't trust them or myself in the sense of relationships.

I dropped my books off in my locker before continuing onto the cafeteria. I sat in my usual seat and waited for Charlotte and Joie to get their food. I pulled my sack lunch out of my backpack and started munching on the carrots. I looked over to wear Jared and Kim sit everyday. They had become fast friends over the past month. They would be the cutest couple one day. I looked to see if Paul was sitting next to Jared yet.. he wasn't. My heart seemed to drop for some reason or other. Each day I hoped he would be here, just so I could see if he was okay. It was a weird urge seeing as the only people I cared about were Chris, Angie, Joie, and Charlotte. I could honestly care less about everyone else. They held no place in my life, except to create stupid high school drama, and to take my mind off of things. After that I zoned out. My mind wondering from place to place, it was a welcomed retreat. I didn't have to worry about anything in my wonderland. I was rudely interrupted when Joie and Charlotte slammed their trays on the table, smiles upon both of their faces.

"How was your weekend girlie?" Charlie asked me.

"It was quite eventful, my dear." I joked.

"Oh really?"

"Not really. Chris and Angie seem to be growing more and more everyday and are becoming more of a handful. But that's about it. Work sucks and school is almost over, thank God."

"My two favorite children, I need to visit soon. I miss them." Joie inputed.

"Please do honey, I would love that!" I said with a smile upon my face. My eyes glanced back over to Jared's table as they do often during lunch and I let out a gasp as I realized who was at the table. My two best friends followed my gaze to their table and started giggling. I was in for it now.

"I knew you liked him! I've been wondering these past couple of weeks why you always look over to that table, now I know!" Joie said all gitty.

"I was just curious as to where he's been. I mean, honestly, who skips school for two weeks." I was trying to play it cool. They didn't need to know about my wierd sudden obsession about his well-being.

"Mhm, keep telling yourself that love." I turned away from the table and hoped they would drop the subject. Thankfully they did as Charlie started talking about the date she had over the weekend with a boy from Forks. She was convinced he would be her next boyfriend or something like that. I didn't keep up with the conversation and my mind wandered back to Paul. Where had he been while he was gone? Suddenly Joie squealed. I snapped my head towards her wondering what caused her sudden jump.

"Paul has been staring over here for the past five minutes. I didn't want to say anything, but I couldn't help it. He is just so darn cute and he obviously likes our dear Amy." I glanced over to Paul and he suddenly flashed a wide, bright smile It was like his whole day got better because I acknowledged his existence. Which is wierd, I couldn't have that much effect on someone, could I? I mean the only people I had an influence on was on the twins. I looked back to my psychotic friends who had large smiles upon their faces. I rolled my eyes and indulged myself in my food, trying to get them to leave me alone.

"You can't tell me you don't like him or have any feelings for him." Charlotte said.

"I don't like boys after what happened and I most likely won't." I said jokingly, trying to keep the mood light.

"You should see Paul's face right now, It looks like someone shot his puppy." Joie said with a slight frown. "Someone as cute as him shouldn't frown."

"I'll admit that he's cute if it will shut you guys up, but I don't want a boyfriend or anything else." I said.

"You should see his face now, it looks like he won a million bucks." Joie laughed.

"Will you stop staring over there, you are being a creeper. We don't need him thinking the wrong things." I pulled her face away from and and started laughing.

"Why would I stop interrpreting his reactions, they're quite interesting!" She kept laughing. "It's like you make his life with what you say. So you better watch it, you could be the death of him."

I mellowed after that comment, my thoughts flickered to Tyler, and my eyes closed to stop the water works that were beginning to form. Charlotte slapped Joie and pointed to me, I could tell that they knew they said the wrong thing. It wasn't that big of a deal. I mean lots of things brought his name to mind, but just those words cut me deep. I didn't like to think about what happened. The bell rang to go to class and I sat there until everyone had left. I heard my friends sigh. They patted my arm and then left to go to class. I didn't want to go until I was sure I had complete control over myself. Weakness wouldn't show. I heard the table creak as someone sat next to me. I heard them sigh. I didn't say anything in the hopes that they would just go away. I didn't want any contact with anyone or to make stupid happy conversations when I so obviously wasn't okay.

"Hey are you okay?" I heard a deep masculine voice said. It had a hint of worry laced in there. I nodded, not trusting my voice not to crack. I opened my eyes to see the one and only Paul sitting in front of me.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

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**Here is the long awaited Chapter 6. I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to write it and get it out! Thanks to all the review. They are inspiration for me to keep writing, as stupid as that sounds. I appreciate the feedback as well. Anything that I could do better, something that doesn't make sense, any feedback is welcome. Let me know what you think about this chapter! (: Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Thank you! **

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Amy's POV

I just sat there; I didn't know what to do or say. When I looked at his face I saw concern and heartache. I thought he would go away, I indicated to him that I was fine and he was late for class now. I couldn't understand why he wouldn't just leave already. I don't like having an audience when I cry, I do it in the confined space of my bedroom. Where no one is watching and I can let my emotions go for once. I didn't know what to say to him, I don't talk to people. I tried to avoid everyone in this hellhole because I plan on leaving in a few months.

"Well?" I said. It sounded bitchy but I really wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone let alone tell him such personal matters. I don't even know him for God's sake.

"I just wanted to see if you're okay. It looked like you were, uh, going to cry." he said. As he said the last part he ran his hand through the hair on the back of his head. He looked as if he didn't know what to say and didn't want to make anything worsethan it already was. It was sweet really, if I believed in that kind of thing.

"I told you I was fine.' Just give him short little answers, he'll get annoyed and then leave. That was the plan, this conversation wasn't getting to painfully awkward for my liking. I just wanted him to go away.

"Are you sure? I mean, I know I'm not good at this kind of thing, but if you need someone to talk to I'm here." I could tell he meant every word. Again, very sweet but not my thing. If he wants a girl, he should go find someone else. I'm not the kind of girl a boy wants. I carry too much emotional baggage, let alone I take care of two twins and my life isn't all that great. I don't have time for that a relationship, but not only that, I don't believe in them. There is no such thing as love, and if there was I still wouldn't put myself out there. It was just like I had told Joie and Charlotte a couple of weeks ago, I wasn't about to put myself through any more kind of harm. Especially not one I inflict upon myself.

"I don't even know you Paul. You are just a guy that goes to my school, and if I'm being honest here. I'm not staying in La Push much longer. So if it's a girl you're looking for, go find someone else cause I am not a suitable mate. As for sharing my feelings with you, no thanks, I don't share my feelings. Ever. So please, just go to class like a good school boy and leave me alone. My life is complicated enough without some boy trying to screw it all up." My face was like stone, no emotion whatsoever. It was heartless to say, but completely the truth. Joie and Charlotte would kill me once they found out what I said. They would give the excuse that he is attractive and I should try it. He ran his hand through his hair again and closed his eyes. He looked like he was in physical pain and I was wondering why. Sure I was a total bitch to him just a few seconds ago, but I'm not completely heartless. I didn't want to ask though, because I wanted him gone.

I let him sit for a few moments in silence. He looked to be thinking deeply amongst his pain. Finally, he opened his eyes and looked at me. We sat for just a bit more before he said something. I expected him to say something cute, sweet, or cheesy. Something like, "I'm not going to give up on you babe." or "You're worth it." Instead I got a simple, "I'm sorry." before he stood up, straightened his clothes out, and walked away. He didn't walk towards his next class though, he walked out towards the parking lot. I watched as he got in his car and drove away. As soon as I could no longer see his truck, I collected my belongings and went to class. We were watching a movie, so it wasn't that big of a deal I was late. I slipped into class and watched the teacher give me a tardy.

I sat thinking about the last word Paul said. Sorry. It held so much emotion in it. It didn't feel like it was a sorry for bothering me, more like a sorry for everything bad that has ever happened to me. It felt like he was saying sorry for my parents, or lack therof, Tyler's death, my hard life, the twins, and my emotional trauma. i didn't understand how he could feel sorry for that. He didn't know me, I'd barely said a few sentences to him before today.

He might have known that my brother was dead, but he didn't know the circumstances behind it. He didn't know I was with him when he died. That I saw firsthand as my brother took his last few breaths and then stopped for all of eternity. He didn't know that I watched the headlights come straight at us, that Tyler unbuckled his seatbelt and wrapped his arms around me to protect me. He didn't know that because of me, my brother was dead. If he did, he wouldn't feel sorry. I got my brother killed. He is resting under the ground because of me. It's all my fault.

He couldn't know my life went to shit after that. My parents stopped caring. I raised myself from then on. They paid for my things, but as far as parents go, that's all they did. Then Mom got pregnant with the twins and I thought life was going to get better. Mom and Dad seemed happier than they had been since Tyler's death. Then nine months later they were born and life didn't change. It turns out Chris looked exactly like Tyler when he was bo rn. That triggered something in my parents, and they took care of the babies for the first few months. I'm guessing just because of all the shots and vaccines they needed to have. They had to seem like caring parents. Some wierd twisted logic of theirs. After the first few months were up, it be came my job to take care of them.

As time went on, they paid for less and less of our things. They paid for the main essentials: food, a few clothes, school supplies, and diapers. They didn't pay for the Leah's babysitting while I was at school, that was my job. They didn't pay for many of the thin gs that were crucial to our living comfortablly and not letting out the secret my parents didn't care. I had to make sure no one knew about how I lived. Charlie and Joie knew, but that's it. If other people found out on the reservation, life would change drastically. I would lose Chris and Angie and my parents would go to jail for child neglection. I couldn't lose the twins, I couldn't. They were what kept my sane. They kept me grounded on Earth and I loved them immensely. There was no cap on how much I loved those two. There was no way Paul could know all these things about my life. He wouldn't find out either. I would have to keep him at bay and keep a close eye on him. If he found out, he wouldn't keep quiet. I had no intentions of losing everything I had just before I turned eighteen in a few months. It wasn't going to happen.

The bell rang, and I didn't notice because I was in the middle of all of my thoughts. I didn't know it had rang until my teacher flipped on the lights. I looked around and I was the only one in therre. I bolted out of there with my bookbag. I went to my locker, grabbed the necessities such as my homework and books that I needed and then went straight to my car. I threw my stuff on the passenger seat and went to Leah's. I needed to hold the twins after a day like mine had just been. Leah was all too willing to give them to me. It was obvious I was upset, and she didn't want to bother me. She wished me safe travelling home. I thanked her and buckled the kids in.

My day went in a blur after that. It all mixed together. I don't really remember specific things that happened; my br ain was too muddled. I do remember that I felt like I was being watched. It wasn't the eerie kind though, it was a safe feeling. I felt protected for once in five years. I was pretty sure my mind was making it up, but I took it and I ran. I haven't felt safe and protected since Tyler died and while I had it, I was going to use it. It was nice, feeling protected.

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